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What is This Blog About?

  *this blog is best viewed on a computer*

November 2024 (check back for updates)






Read the entries on this Home page below or click on the Label index at upper right of the page for specific subjects and thoughts.         

What's it all about Alfie * Tommy ?

Hopefully, this isn't just an exercise in hearing myself think.

Much of this will seem like common sense, but common sense isn't so common anymore. 


I have been collecting notes, thoughts, observations, comments, and storytelling based on life experiences.  I found these to be useful reminders to myself.   I thought this live blog would motivate me to organize them in some more useful way. 


Perhaps by also sharing, some of these thoughts might be helpful to others too. 


Much of this content does not have its origins with me. For those seeds of inspiration I wish to thank the authors and influences, now lost or forgotten. 


PS: It has never been my intention to advise or persuade anyone by these comments. They are simply a collection of thoughts to myself over the last 50 or so years.  

* Listen: music source (click to listen): Alfie - YouTube


LATEST THOUGHTS:

                                                      LATEST THOUGHT:
# Death does not take something away. It provides time for memories. 
# Practice does not guarantee success, but without it there is no hope.
# Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time. Thomas Merton
# Life will always have problems and conflicts, no matter what philosophy, religion or political system you believe. The least we can do is approach these issues with intelligence, and common sense, based on the facts at hand.
# You make your own luck. Its not going to come looking for you. 
# You must be the one in control of your life. Earn your own money, And control your fertility. Children and someone else's money robs you of your control.
# Learn how to make yourself Happy. Don't rely on others for your happiness.
When the time comes to decide between the easy or the right, have the courage to do the right thing.
# Key to HAPPINESS: Do what you can, with what you have now.
# Be yourself, everyone else is already taken. Oscar Wilde.
# He who dies with the most money does NOT win.
# I am still confused but now at a much higher level.
# Surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when you enter the room.

The world is full of lonely people afraid to make the first move.

Your beliefs don't make you a good person. Your behavior can.

# Whisper their name in the wind and they will live forever.   ....  anon.

# “Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” 

# Friendship shows best against a dark background.  1902 George Darby 

# You can not do what you do not know. That is why education is most important.
# Do it not because it easy, but because it is hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of your energies and skills because that challenge is one that you are willing to accept, one you are unwilling to postpone, and one you intend to accomplish.
A wise man once said nothing. I'm still trying to figure this one out  : )
# Love is being there when needed. 

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私たちとあなたの人生の一部を共有してくれてありがとう。
みんなあなたに会いたがっている
私たちはあなたを気にします    t. & m.


Akari
Erina
    Minako
   Miyuki
     Hanano
  Kohei
Kota
     Miyuki 
  Nami
      Nobuko
       Ryosuke
     Suzuka
      Honoka
    Tamae
     Tomoe
       Tomoko
      Yukiko
  Riri
       Haruna
        Hajime 
    Kiho
     Haru
      Emiri
 







Good Quotations:




If someone wants to be a part of your life, 
they will make an effort to be in it. 
Consider yourself lucky when they do, because most people won't.
     
Don’t bother to save a place in your heart 
for someone who does not make an effort to be there.


“ I've learned that people will forget  

  what you said, 

  people will forget what you did, 

  but people will never forget 

  how you made them feel.”


How to get Rich

HOW TO  GET RICH

            Want to be wealthy?.... without having to do very much? Here is a plan that has worked for me:  SAVE 10% (15% would be better) of every dollar you make, for a lifetime. Now you say: "I can't save that kind of money."  Sure you can. Only .10 cents on every dollar earned. That leaves .90 cents left to spend. One dollar in ten, nine dollars to spend. The money is never missed and adds up without effort. 
            Let's say the average beginning teacher earns $35,000 a year (and for this simple math, let's say that salary never increases (it would at least double, but let's keep the math simple). In 40 years of teaching that amount would be $1,400,00. ($35K times 40 yrs). 10% if that lifetime earnings would be $140,000 saved in the bank, to be spent at retirement. $140 K. doesn't sound like much does it. But here is the magic: "Compounding interest" you earn on that savings. In a safe investment today it shouldn't be that difficult to get 5% interest... maybe more. Money at 5% interest doubles in value every 15 years. So a 3,500 dollars (saved each year = 10% of $35,000 salary) plus interest compounded would be more than $448,000 in 40 years. That's almost half a million dollars from money you really didn't need or use, and that is assuming you never increased your first-year salary. A 20-year-old nurse making $70,000 today, saving 10% of that salary, at 5% interest would have saved $897,000 by the age of 60. And these are very conservative numbers. A good job and safe investing could increase these numbers greatly.
            You can start at any age, but the length of time and compounding is important. I know this works. I started saving 10% of my earnings at age 18. I was able to retire comfortably at age 55, ten years earlier than most people do.  Here is another thought: If you do nothing... where will you be at retirement?  A lot poorer.

SUMMARY:
         SAVE TEN CENTS OF EVERY DOLLAR YOU EARN AND INVEST IT SAFELY.

How To Get a Date, Find Friends, and Become a Friend




      Perhaps one of the greatest challenge in our lives is to love and be loved. We seem to be social creatures that find these experiences desirable and necessary.  Young and older, we often journey alone. 

Finding friends is a numbers game with two major parts. Both of which we have a large degree of control over.  

           First, the more encounters with people one has in their life the more opportunity they will have to meet potential friends. There are a number of ways to get us in touch with potential friends and partners…. online dating, blind dates, newspaper ads, and the ever-present bar scene, etc.  For some, this may work…. but for most these methods fall short. Any kind of exposure to other people is helpful but the best results come from involving oneself in activities that they personally enjoy where other people are present.  An important element of connecting is establishing a common interest and being someone who others want to connect with.

A good example of this would be taking a class in something we want to learn about. Or joining a club that interests us, or volunteering.The point is that by associating with other people that have similar interests, we are doing something we enjoy, with other people who enjoy the same thing.

           While in this involvement we are relaxed and it takes the pressure off meeting people and focuses on the event.  Everyone has an opportunity to show their personality. Such group activities are safe environments for all, to let down their guard and be themselves, which is exactly what one wants to see when picking new friends.

Secondly, consider: 

      What do we bring to the “party”?  ( We can’t expect everyone else to carry the load, we have to reciprocate).

     How can we make our appearance presentable so that we don’t scare people off?

     What can we do to improve our personality and communication skills so that we can carry on a reasonable conversation?

   Have we educated myself enough to have something interesting to say on a variety of subjects?

      How can we look for the good and interesting aspects in others and not be so critical?        

Ignorance on any aspect of our life is not a problem as long as we have a desire to improve. If shyness is a problem, take a communications course, get practice talking with others. If your looks and fashion need help, study up on how to enhance what we have and ask for help from those we admire. Nothing interesting to say… join a book club, learn a new hobby or sport. We are a blank slate at birth, everything we need to know is learnable. 

Some people are very charismatic…. they seem to be born with a gift for gab and a wonderful personality. Some people are physically beautiful and seem to be like a shining star that attracts people. But for most, we are not so gifted with these magnetic charms that make having friends and relationships flow to us. Some work harder at making themselves presentable to friends. No one said it was easy. 

Often we are our own worst enemy because of the lifestyle and habits we practice.  We think there is something wrong with us, or we are not lucky like others. We may think others are stuffy or unfriendly because they don’t speak to us, when most likely they are just as shy as we are. 

We fail to understand the efforts successful people put into their lives that makes their efforts look so easy. We hibernate, find activities that are solo in nature: reading, crafts, computers.  While these are all wonderful pass times they are not usually very conducive to helping us meet other people. It is rare to have potential friends or a date come knocking at your computer or craft room door and beg us for a date.

It is a strange phenomenon that in this case, the direct approach often fails. It is like happiness, happiness cannot be found, but it is a by-product of doing something enjoyable. Meeting people with the cold steely eyes of a stalker chases off more than it attracts. Most folks have a intuitive sense of what others are up to.  If we are so desperate to make a friend, that desperation is silently transmitted to those around us and can be off-putting.  If everyone is truly gathered for a common purpose such as a classroom or hobby, that pressure of “the hunt”  is lessened. 

Stop dreaming about prince or princess charming in far away never-land. We need to get in the habit of looking immediately around us… the person sitting next to us, the other person in the line at the store, our neighbor. These people don’t have to be potential partners…. they are just nice people that we can get to know and in the process practice being a nice friend. Our first impression of them may be all wrong…. maybe something more will grow from this casual encounter…  maybe they have a brother, daughter, friend that we might meet later. 

Practice paying attention to the people in front of us. Treating them like they are the most interesting thought on your mind at that moment is a wonderful feeling for both of you.

Get out, go for walks on busy streets or parks, visit shopping malls, grocery stores, take public transportation etc. Attempt to casually and non-threateningly engage in a simple conversation…. “hello, nice day, cute dog you have”.  Don’t push it, but have a “back up line” if they respond…..” are you a regular here?”… or “I read that book you are reading and loved it”.  By practicing these “ice-breaking” conversations with average people, it gives us a chance to feel more comfortable when someone we really want to meet comes along. 

Self-improvement takes time. Others are doing it continually. Where will we be in ten years if we keep sitting on our hands and just wishing our lives were different?

     Nobody said it was easy. Nothing worth having is, but with gentle practice it can be fun and rewarding. 


    As for me, before I actually met her, I always dreamed of marrying my best friend. Eventually, I did.


1998+2016 t.d.


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BUSINESS / MAKING MONEY

 These thoughts originated in relation to a small craft business, but many would apply to all businesses.



Notes to Self...                                                                                                                  

                                                   BUSINESS: MAKEING MONEY:

CUSTOMERS:

Ultimately your customer is the most important part of any business…if you want to participate in the use of THEIR  money.

There are many customers out there with lots of money and looking for creative ways to spend it.  Your job is to attain the skills, develop the image, and get your reputation out there where those with the money can find you.

Don't quit your real job. Most of the craftspeople I know and have heard of, have other sources of income…either another job or a spouse that brings in money too.  At least, in the beginning, you need some other source of income to support yourself until your craftwork will do so.  Otherwise, the pressure to pay bills will make you compromise in quality in order to generate money. This is not a good way to begin the development of good craft skills.

dissatisfied customer can be disastrous to a business. If this happens you have failed to educate your customer before the transaction occurs, to be sure he knows what he wants and what he can expect to get, at what price.  You always want to keep your customers happy. In your own mind, you must remember it is better to give the customer his money back than to make him swallow what he considers a loss and starts spreading that negative information around town.

Chose your customers well. It could be a long relationship. Listen to your inner "voice" when you first meet them. Listen for hints that they are a good or bad match for your talents. Proceed at the speed that trust develops. Some customers are just not worth the effort, and later on, we look back and say: "Why didn't I pay attention to those early signs".

If a customer says he can get it cheaper elsewhere…. explain why you think your price is justified.  If they don’t agree…encourage them to check out someone else…. do you really want this customer?  If quality is what you are selling…. he will most likely come back.  If not…let the other shop argue with him for the money.

If you can’t sell a customer something, then give him something to remember you by.  A bit of education that he can remember that will be valuable to him.  Something to carry home is better…. like a promotional card with a great picture on a brochure of your top quality product or even a photo of your product he can dream about owning. Perhaps a sample of your work….like a small piece of your product that demonstrates your work, etc. A pencil with your name and address if nothing else.

Don't let a customer walk away empty handed. If you can't answer their question or provide a service, recommend where they might go for help. Give them information, if nothing else be nice to them and try to develop a positive rapport with them. Your help and kindness is the best advertisement to encourage them to return another time or spread your good reputation. You want to be known as the shop that was helpful and had good ideas and service.

In most businesses, your job is to sell something (a product or service).  Only by selling do you generate money. If a customer comes in, sell them something…. If altering the product or price will help, do it. If you sell him something, you have a customer.  If you let them walk out the door empty-handed you just lost an opportunity.

WORK: 

In the beginning, you may have to have lower prices, commensurate with your abilities and reputation.  Or you may have to have other sources of income until your reputation can bring in enough work and money to satisfy you.

Some people are in love with the romantic notion of running their own business.  They like to talk the talk and go through the general motions and associate with the people and materials related to the business.  For money to be made, someone has to actually spend a lot of time and energy doing the product and service of the business.  Loving a business only makes money if the toiling at the work gets done.

Why are you in business?   To make money, or to do what you want and feel good?  Making money usually falls under the category of WORK.  Feeling good and doing what you want are usually called vacations.

Wholesale/retail pricing: Make your money at the beginning and NOT the end of a transaction.  Some say buy low and sell high. Better is to buy LOW and sell below the market.  Trying to make the money by selling at a high price turns your business into a museum with stagnate shelves of merchandise. Paying a high price for your products that you plan to resell, in the beginning,  just makes money for the person you are buying from. If you can’t make money upfront you probably won't make it in the end either.

You have to understand the market you are in, otherwise, you are just guessing and betting your next supper. You must know the value of your products and services. Know what the competition is doing and where you stand in relation to them.  If you don’t, you are just wasting you and your customer’s time and money.

Working for someone else, you put in eight hours a day and it is a good way to learn the business, make mistakes and gain experience on someone else’s dime.  Work for yourself and expect to put in 12 hours a day, six or seven days a week.  You learn on your own time and pay for your own mistakes.

The primary purpose of being in business is to make money… if you aren’t making money, you have a hobby.

 Don’t worry so much about trying to be the lowest price around.  What does it actually cost YOU to do the work?  If someone else can do it cheaper, that’s their business.
  
You might as well raise your prices to a point where you can survive.  You will either go out of business because you can’t meet the overhead with your low prices or raise your prices at the risk of losing your customer base.  Usually, you attract higher-income customers as you raise your prices. Remember, if you are too cheap, people will agree with you that you are not worth more.

Keep accurate records/photos of time, materials, formulas, procedures and problems on every job.  It is good training when trying to estimate future jobs, or to help analyze what went wrong at the end of a project. Photos are good for promotion and can show how you improve over time.

There is only so much money you can charge per hour, and only so many hours in a day that you can charge for.  Hiring help or farming out work at a lower wage then you normally would charge, in effect creates more billable hours that you can make your profit on.

Don’t be afraid of a written contract with your customers, specifying time and money issues and what will and won’t be included.  It is really just a written road map to guide and remind both parties of what to expect.

Try to collect some money down in the beginning.  It keeps both parties interested for the entire project. The last thing you want is to complete a project and have a customer walk away "with no skin in the game".

Don't be confused between motion and action.  You can give a lot of motion by spending many hours, studying, talking, improving the shop, cleaning, sharpening tools, etc. and think you are busy with the business. But this is different than those actions that actually produce money.... doing the work.

It is a rare craft business where one source of income brings in enough money.  A survey of small woodworking businesses indicated that most had spouses who were providing a healthy portion of the household income.  One of the problems is that many craft people are artistically inclined and not business-minded.  Craftsmen /artists focus on what is it that they like or want to do, rather than how they can make money. Be assured that in order to make money doing a craft …dollars and cents thinking (the business part ) is as important as the artistic part.

Don’t kid yourself into thinking you are just selling a product. To excel, you are selling a dream. Every product/service needs a story, an image, something to capture the customer’s passion.  Your job is to know enough about the product or service AND the customer to create that dream/image, for the customer. Emotions are powerful incentives to spend money.

When you charge a lower than value price, what you are really doing is teaching your customer to expect lower prices.   By teaching your customer how you are worth the charge you ask, you help set a standard that the customer should expect to pay for good value.

QUALITY:

The sweetness of a low price will soon be forgotten, compared to the long-time agony of living with its poor quality.

Providing genuine, quality and service is the best way to the top dollar.  You may have to provide a variety of level of services  (plain or fancy etc.) to meet various customer income levels, but be sure that at each level, the quality of service is the best.

If a person would study and perfect a service or a niche in the market where there is a NEED, money can be made.

There is nothing wrong with working at the higher (luxury) end of the market.  Especially if you have the skills and reputation to attract it.  Someone has to, and will, meet these needs.  It might as well be you. 

Never promise more than you can deliver….. Always deliver more than you promised.

There is very little competition at the top.   You really can’t compete at the bottom of the quality or price range.  That is where everyone in the WORLD wants to be. Few people are willing to put in the time and trained effort to participate at top levels. But look at the top…there are very few people competing for the top quality and price customer base. You might as well set a plan to rise above the rest…. Where will you be in ten or twenty years, if you don’t… still floundering away at the bottom with everybody else.

Most customers don’t really know what a job is worth.  It is your obligation to educate them on why YOU are worth what you ask for.

Everything you do, say or display, is telling a story. What is the story you want to present to the world?

Work at the bench is hard enough even with happy customers. If a customer isn’t happy with a job…make it right! The lesson learned is that you didn’t screen or prepare your customer first…. they didn't understand the complications or couldn’t afford your standard of quality.  Next time, when the FIRST question they ask is how much…be warned, they are more interested in price than quality. Send them to the shop down the street, they can’t afford your quality of skill.

Your job is not arguing for money…your job is doing the absolute best job and service you can do.  The money will eventually follow.

Do you really want to be known as the cheapest shop in town?

Making money is not the central focus…. Producing quality service is,  and one deserves to be justly compensated…at least a decent living wage for valued quality service.

Why would you want to have the highest prices in town?   Hopefully, because your service is worth it.  Higher quality work deserves better pay.  Higher quality projects attract better customers.   Better customers are often the ones that have the money to spend on your services.  You may not be worth higher prices now, but this should be your goal…. to be worth top dollar.

You may not know if your work is quality work or not. You may have cut some corners on previous work with resulting poor quality. You may not be doing quality work now. Your job is to learn what quality is and how to produce it. If you have observed other’s work and judged it, think of what others are and will be saying about the quality of your work.  Don't let the fact that you may not be able to produce the quality you want, to dissuade you from setting high-quality standards. The important point is to know what quality is and to set that goal for yourself.

Estimates:

Estimates are approximate prices of a product or service. Be sure the customer understands that this is not a firm price. If the estimate is written, be sure to emphasize the approximate nature of the price. Always estimate HIGH unless you are willing to eat the difference yourself or go into the uncomfortable situation of requesting more money. If you are stating a final price, this is not an estimate and you have to be prepared to deliver for that price.

Estimates may be necessary.  Try not to make casual estimates without real thought…. they often come back to haunt you.  If you want an estimate to be binding for both parties, put it in writing after you have thought it out.  Don’t put anything in writing you don’t plan to stick to.

Be careful about providing estimates….. soon they can take up too much of your time, leaving little time for paying work.  If at all possible, charge for the estimate…say one hour’s worth of work. You can reimburse that fee if you actually get the job.  This keeps those who are just kicking tires from wasting your time, or those who are seeking an insurance settlement, from using your estimate for their claim and then going somewhere else to get the job done cheaper.

If you suggest a service will be in a range between two amounts, for example, $150 to $200, say the higher number not the lower number.  The customer always remembers the lower number.  It is easier to give back money, then to ask for more.

If you don't want to do a job, don't use a very high estimate in hopes of driving the customer away. These tactics often backfire and you end up doing a job you didn't want to do.

If you make an estimate of the cost of service (most customers want that) and it turns out to be wrong, contact the customer and explain the situation with a revised estimate. Offer to return the work and deposit if the customer does not want to pay the higher price. Learn from this to not make snap judgments on costs and to quote higher estimates in the future.


Click on the labels at the top right of the page for more subjects.

GOOD HABITS

 Dream Work  (Things I try to remember)


                                        Good Habits:

Once a week set a time and place to have a family meeting. Providing a structured forum to explore, discuss, review and plan your relationship's needs and goals is essential. Make this meeting a safe and honest environment for listening and sharing about the important things in the relationship.

Put some passion in your marriage / relationship every day. Don't forget the important emotions that brought you and your partner together. Get naked and see what develops every day.

Make a list of 10 things that make you happy.  Next to each item make a note of the last time you did this thing. It is said that one can measure their degree of happiness by knowing the distance between where they are and where they want to be.  This exercise done regularly will help you focus on what makes you happy and how successful you are at achieving those goals.

Sex class: On a regular basis (once a week or month) study with your partner about how to improve your sex life. Make it a structured meeting.  Ask questions, share ideas, explore dreams, do research. Make it a safe and open honest atmosphere for both parties to share. Our sex life is a good barometer of our relationship.  And don't forget the homework.

Every morning make a list of the 5 most important things you have to do today. Mark the MOST important thing #1, the next important thing #2 and so on down the list.  Start on number 1. Do not stop working on #1 until it is finished. Only then go down the list. This way you are assured of working and completing the most important tasks.   Do the same thing each morning.

Make a list of the most important people in your life. Think of why they are important and the things that they do well.  Make a point to praise them, thank them for what they do, daily or at least once a week.

Take a class, learn something new. Knowledge brings new life into us. It makes us more interested and more interesting.

Look in the mirror regularly. What can you do to improve your appearance? If we look good we feel good, if we feel good, we are good.

Get something to write with... and paper, stamp and envelop. Write a letter to someone. If you don't have anyone to write to, write to yourself.  It is a small thrill in life to get a real personal letter from someone who cares. You will feel better writing and someone else will feel better because you care enough to write.

Find a hobby or craft or something that you are interested in and work at it every day until you become an expert on the subject. Everyone needs to be good at something... Mostly for your own self-worth.

Before going to sleep think back on the good parts of the day. This is an excellent ritual to establish. By doing this you take a few moments for yourself to reflect on what is going right. Thinking about good things sets your mind at ease for a good night's sleep.


Click on the labels at the top right of the page for more subjects.


Life

                                          Notes to myself about life


Life isn't always fair or easy, But it is still good. Time will help.

What you do today is practicing for your future. If you want a different future, change what you are doing today.

If something in your life is not right, strive to correct it immediately.  Problems soon become too familiar and we begin to accept them as a matter of habit. Bad habits are hard to stop.

When Happiness knocks at your door, Open it.

Save 10% of every dollar you make. You will never miss this small percentage and if saved over a long time with interest it grows a lot.

We become like the people we associate with. Choose your companions well.

We are the result of what we think about.

Achieving a goal is often complicated by the fact that we don't really (specifically) know what we want. Once we know what we want, committing to the work required to achieve it is easier.

Learn good problem solving techniques. It improves relationships and every other part of life.

Learn to argue fairly: No name calling, no physical contact, no abuse. Find a time when you are both rested and calm. Each person state their view and the other restate it to show they heard you.  Stay on topic, don't bring up every gripe.  Decide if you want to win the argument or solve the problem… the former is a waste of time, the latter helps.

Move at the speed of Trust.

They say opposites attract, but sharing your life with someone who has similar background and interests, beliefs and energy can make a relationship a lot simpler.

Having confidence is a very attractive asset. Find something you enjoy and become an expert in it. It will help you build self confidence.

If you want something, don't be afraid to ask / work for it. If you don't try you are assured of not getting it.

When the student is ready the teacher will come.

You got yourself where you are, how are you going to get yourself where you want to be?

The beauty is in the walking, we are betrayed by the journey. --Gwyn Thomas

Behave your way to success.

If you breathe, your greave.

Investing in your education, it is the best investment you can ever make and it can't be taken away. You may not see the value now, but some day you will need it.

Extend yourself..... reach out to others and get involved. Expand your world.

You can learn to be friendly.  Smile and extend a hand in greeting. Learn to make others comfortable around you and you will be comfortable around them. You can learn to chit chat (small talk), it is a great social ice-breaker. It gets easier with practice.

I always  wanted to be somebody..... but I should have been more specific.  --Lily Thomlin

Never stop learning. Regularly take a class in something that is of interest or benefits your work or life. Learn a new skill, take up a new hobby.  Knowledge brings new vitality and spirit into you life, makes you happier and a more interesting friend.

Education is important because a well educated person is one who is comfortable in a wider variety of situations.

Life is like a bank account, you get out of it what you put into it. It is amazing how one can know nothing about something, but after spending some time with it, you begin to understand and find interest in it quite well.

 If doing the right thing seems strange to you, this indicates how far you are from where you should be.

Travel widely, experiment boldly and love deeply.


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 LESSONS IN LIFE:
            

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.


2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.


3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone (anything). 


4. Don't take yourself so seriously.  No one else does!


5. Pay off your credit cards every month.


6. You don't have to win every argument.  Agree to disagree.


7. Find someone to cry with.  It's more healing than crying alone. 




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Make a friend for a day.  Some friendships will grow, some not.

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Thoughts on changing....
            
            what story are you telling by your actions, dress, lifestyle?        
            
            consider changing your understanding of yourrole in any issue.

            we are an illusion of our own making. we do have control of this image.

            positive change usually requires "stepping up your game".

            change usually requires more energy from you.

            focus beyond thinking, try acting.

            fake it until you make it: 
                  practice being the person you want to be and you will become it.

            we become like those we associate with.

            we are what we think about.

            is the impression you are making the one you want to make?

            what are you bringing to the "party"? make yourself interesting or worthwhile to others.

              Every day that we ignore solving our problems is another day we remain unhappy.

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Sometime when we have a want for a "thing", upon deeper exploring we realize that what we really want is a feeling or emotion we think we will get from that thing.  For example, if you want a new car, is it the car you want or is it the feeling you get from the relationship you have with the car (feeling important, impressing other, etc.). What is the "emotion or feeling" you are trying to achieve or convey? 
It may be more direct just to try and satisfy the feeling without the bother of the new car.


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“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”  ― Theodore Roosevelt



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